Dear Inquisitor,
We "faders" have empathy for you. This is an entirely new category, which seems to have us floating around in limbo. Waiting for the other shoe to drop, the axe to fall, the boom to lower. Sorry. I've used all those expressions as they are relevant to our in-between-in-and-out status. I was really ill for a few years (absent from all theocratic activity) yet, as I was gradually recovering, I now believe I subconsciously carried on as if ill and kept my distance. Those who really matter to me and whom I trust --- JW's and non JW's --- are my support system, as well as the kind-hearted and helpful souls here on JWD. I simply could not believe that "Jehovah's happy people," when permitted to express themselves freely, would have so much to vent about! Now I understand. I hated making excuses (giving reasons [?!?]), but you'll find your way through even that hurdle. Many on this board have already and make no apologies. My fade became official when I ceased "publishing" 31 December 2005 and quit meetings four months ago. That was my first step forward, knowing I would never go back. Baby steps, dear Inquisitor. When your head clears and your heart calms, you'll rediscover that life really does have a purpose, yet in a way none of us ever imagined. May our loving Father grant you peace.
Yours truly,
Compound Complex